Vietnam Post Number Tam

Since I was expecting to fly out on Friday afternoon, I had to rush to see a few things before going to the airport.  It was a 30 minute walk to see the mausoleum of Ho Chi Minh, but the viewing portion was closed, his body goes to Russia every year for maintenance, I guess he didn't come back yet.  There are a few other museums in the area, but by the time I got over there I needed to head back to make it to the airport.  After getting to the airport I noticed that my flight was not on the departure list.  Hmmm.  I showed my ticket to a gate agent and then things got bad.  There is no flight to Vientiane on Fridays (I believe it exists in the summer only, never got a straight answer).  After an hour of asking different people before finding someone who actually gave a shit, I was 'assured' that I would be on the next flight Saturday morning.  I had no confidence that this was the case, but I thanked the Vietnam Airlines manager for helping me.  I didn't want to go back to Hanoi, so I found a hotel close to the airport, it was probably the most depressing hotel I have ever been at.  It was really, really bad.  Had dinner in the 'cafe' next to about 6 Vietnamese guys who were all chain smoking.  After a crappy sleep, headed back to the airport.  My fear was the agent would have no idea what I was talking about when I gave my ticket that was for the prior day, and I was right.  They said I wasn't on the ticket.  I begged them to call the manager from the previous day (he gave me his cell number) and after a quick call I was given a ticket and felt hugely relieved.  Kind of scary that a personal call to someone would all of sudden get me on a flight.  A short flight later, arrived in Vientiane and went through the slowest immigration process of all time.  It took them at least 90 minutes to process one small plane full of people (40? 50?).  What I like the most is that visas are different prices for different countries.  For some reason, Canadians pay the most - $42.  The U.S. is $35, and South America is free.  Weird.  Met Matt and Senoe after this long delay and had to check in for the next flight leaving for Hoiesay two hours later.

Vietnam Post Number Bay

Got back on the bus and headed to the boats.  The British girls threw a fit because they didn't feel the seat space was adequate for them so the tour operator had to find some volunteers to go on motorbikes behind the bus.  To say these tours are not organized well is an understatement.  Waited around for the boats and then went back, much quicker this time since there were no stops.  With no place to stay I got out at the same stop as the British girls and got a room at the same hotel (good deal, only $15/night, includes breakfast, free Internet).  Stayed pretty much in the same area that night, spent a fair amount of time at a bar called 'Hair of the Dog'.  A bartender who spoke decent English talked to me a fair amount, she intended on going to New York at some point, but I couldn't decipher what for.  The table next to me seemed to going through some issues - some guy owed an African dude with a French accent money and he wanted it now.  Fun to eavesdrop on that.  Had some tasty Pho that the bartender went next door to get me, sweet delivery service.

Vietnam Post Number Sau

Got up early and had to check out of the hotel since the Halong Bay trip was an overnight tour.  The bus ride was a few hours, and the space on the seats was absolutely ridiculous.  I couldn't expand my hand between my seat and the back of the seat in front of me.  Of course the bathroom break was at a stop where people were making plaster lions, Buddhas, etc.  There is no way anyone could have purchased anything and gotten it on the bus, so Pringles were the most popular item as usual.  Eventually reached the bay and saw dozens of junks waiting for tour buses.  We got on one and we were given a bland lunch.  Some Brit girls and Aussie boys invited me to eat with them since I was alone.  They were nice.  There was a stop at one of the bigger islands (there are 400ish in the bay) to look at a cave that had a bunch of tacky colored lights in it.  Got back on the boat, went by a floating village (pretty interesting, little homes just floating around, the water is extremely calm in the area).  Ended up at Cat Ba island, the largest of the bunch, and then it was a 40 minute bus ride to the hotels.  I was at a different hotel then the others so it was kind of a bummer since I didn't know anyone.  Wasn't feeling well, so I skipped dinner and watched the Mod Squad.  Not good.  Went to a bar a floor above my room and it was horrible.  Super loud music, nobody there, nothing to do.  Went for a walk outside and that wasn't much better.  Lots of crappy stalls selling junk lit up by fluorescent lights - no beach to speak of, it was pretty dissapointing.  Went to bed shortly thereafter.

Vietnam Post Number Nam

Flew to Hanoi on Tuesday.  There was no food on the plane, but the legroom was amazing, it was like sitting in a limo.  Maybe that is why they can't afford to give food out.  Upon arriving in Hanoi, got a taxi and went to the hotel.  The trip was pretty long, and it gave an immediate impression on the differences between HCMC and Hanoi.  It seems more grim and Chinese in Hanoi - people spit more, it was cooler so they were all wearing coats, possibly more pale(?) due to the weather difference making them appear more Chinese.  Where I was staying the streets were more narrow and it had an older feel, some buildings seemed more colonial/French.  I didn't do too much that day, arranged a trip to Halong Bay for the following day and just hung around the neighborhood.  Had a really good sandwich - pork skewers with chili sauce on a baguette for about 50 cents.  Was in bed fairly early since the bus for the tour was leaving early the next day.  Stomach still not doing well.

Vietnam Post Number Bong

Linh had to work Sunday so I was on my own until dinner. Went to the War Remnants museum, which is made of U.S. military hardware (guns, tanks, etc.) and pictorials in several large rooms. Surprisingly it's not really well done considering they have a very large visitor rate (half million a year). As an American, many of the photos are not new, but to Europeans and other visitors, it may be the first large-scale exposure to photo journalism from Vietnam. It is obviously told from a very pro-North stance, Americans (and to a lesser extent, the French) don't look very good after going through there. Even if it is one-sided, it is a sobering experience to see the impact the armed forces had on the country, and quite surprising to see how warm and friendly (most) locals are, especially to Americans. After that, more wandering around, saw a cathedral and post office, not that interesting. Met Linh and her cousin for Ban Xeo (seafood pancakes) which were really good. Slightly larger than at home, and the greens that they are wrapped in (basil, mint, lettuce) seemed a bit fresher, but not night and day different. Then went to pick up some ice cream, I had vanilla in a coconut shell with a bunch of fruits I couldn't identify. Stomach revolted again, so I had to get home quickly. Traffic was really bad because everyone in the city had to go out and see Christmas displays. They really like lit up streets here for Christmas.

Monday - sat in a bar (same as Saturday) and drank all day, watching the street. Talked to a bartender most of the time and she gave me a ride home on her motorbike. I may have picked up more doing that than going anywhere. Met Linh, her cousin and a friend to watch a football game. That was really bad, there were only 5ish people there and they show the games on crappy little tvs. Soccer gets way more love here. Also, a New Yorker got really mad at a guy from our table and was going to fight him because the game (on tape of some sort) was restarted and they can't forward it. When his tiny pregnant Vietnamese wife showed up, he calmed down.
Went back, said bye to Linh and that was it for HCMC.

Vietnam Post Number Bah

This will have to consolidate a bunch of days.
Saturday - after shooting guns and travelling back to the city, Linh and I went out for Vietnamese bbq. Somewhat similar to Korean style, you cook plates of meat at the table (deer, boar, seafood, beef, etc. is available). It was quite good, although the smoke, even though it was outside, was pretty overwhelming. One in particular that was tasty was beef wrapped around cheese and onion. A friend/co-worker of hers showed up and we stayed for a few beers. At this point, my stomach revolted and I started my tour of HCMC bathrooms. We went to a club mostly for foreigners that has been around a long time. It's very obvious that it's a starting point for prostitution, straight and gay. We had one drink and left. It was then off on a mission to find a place recommended by Linh's friend, but we never found it, and after 4 u-turns we decided to go somewhere else. All this time the 3 of us are on one motorbike. That was fun, it really is the best way to get around, and they are suprisingly sturdy - 400 lbs, not a problem. We ended up at a bar that also had a lot of tourists, but it was more laid back, you can just drink and watch traffic go by. Met some Irish and Belgians there as well. They had been drinking pretty much all day, the empty bottles are kept in cases next to you so they can add up the bill at the end of the night. Little girls go around and sell gum, tissues, etc. at all hours of the night. It's tempting, but apparently that money goes to mafia types. Also noticed pretty open smoking of weed, as long as you don't get crazy, pretty much anything goes...

Vietnam Post Number Hai

Second full day in Vietnam. Linh and I booked a trip to the Cao Dai temple and Cu Chi tunnels. It was a long trip 3.5 hours to get to the temple. Cao Dai is less than a hundred years old, and is sort of a new religion, but more of a blend of Buddhism, Confucianism, and Taosim. And Victor Hugo is involved somehow as well as Sun Yat Sen. Strange. We saw about 15 minutes of a ceremony, which started with singing and some music, videos posted later. It was then another 90 minutes to the Cu Chi tunnels, part of an elaborate 200 km tunnel system used by the North Vietnamese to hide and facilate 'killing American soldiers'. They could easily escape and get to rivers or other tunnel systems when necessary. They stayed there during the day, and came out at night to farm, work, and kill. We went through about 50 meters of the tunnel (enlarged for western bodies) and it was claustrophobic and starting to hurt at the end (video coming). I also got to shoot an AK-47, as there is a shooting range attached. Guns are really, really loud.

Vietnam Post Number Mot

Flight was long, but uneventful, not much to say. Terrible movies. Second flight was better since I had three seats to myself. I think it was 7ish hours, making for about 19 hours of flight time, 24 overall. The HCMC airport is pretty nice and getting through immigration was very quick and easy, a bit surprising. Leaving customs I saw a crush of people waiting for family and friends, hundreds pressed up against the fence. Fortunately I had Linh's tennis racket and she picked me out pretty easily. A 20 minute ride and we were at my hotel. Room is very clean and plenty big, a good deal for 20/night. After not sleeping much, I got up and walked out onto the street around 9 am the next day. Not much of a plan in mind, just to go out and see what's around. I learned very quickly that motorbikes are the only way to get around - every person is either riding one, fixing one, or sitting on one along the sidewalks. They are everywhere. A not very pushy bike/taxi guy convinced me that is the best way to get around and I agreed. No price was set ('its up to you') and we headed for reunification palace. The palace was the headquarters for the government of the south during the war (built in 1966). It is one of the places that tanks crashed through the gates in 1975 as the VC took control of HCMC. It has been used sparingly since then and the entire building is like a time warp back to the 60s and 70s, both in architecture and furnishings. The basement has a bomb shelter where they operated that looks fairly close to the structure that Winston Churchill used in WW II. After that, we went for lunch, seafood with noodles and two beers each for us - all for about 5 dollars. He then suggested a massage, and I was skeptical, but he seemed like a good guy and had many handwritten recommendations from all over the world. When I got there they quickly offered me a 'lowlob' for 70 dollars and tried to take off my pants right away...I declined and knew this was getting a little strange. The massage wasn't that great, I don't think they do that as much as offer other services. Afterwards we stopped by my hotel and had some drinks and squid with his fellow cycle/taxi buddies. All were very nice and to my surprise really like Americans (I suppose its related to money, but they seemed sincere). Things were fine until their loan shark mafia boss(?) showed up. It was a woman wearing lots of gold jewelry. She loans them money when things are down, several men at the table owed her 1-2 million dong (70-150 dollars). I asked my driver to take me back and I gave him a very, very generous amount, but he was under the impression I was going to give him the full amount of his debt - which I didn't have even if I wanted to. It was kind of a weird ending, he hugged me and took off. After a nap, met up with Linh and had dinner in an open market area, definitely a little more low-key then earlier in the day. Pictures and videos forthcoming...

Test

Espana Part Siete

On Wednesday I went to the Vignette breakfast and saw a few sessions, but the whole thing was over pretty quickly, around noon. Stayed for lunch and then took off to find the train station, which was conveniently located very close to the hotel. The subway here is pretty cheap and very easy to navigate. A 10 minute ride, and then walked to the hostel. First time seeing the actual city, lots of narrow streets and Gothic-y architecture. Tons of small bar/restaurants, and other shops, brick streets, etc. Checked in, it's a very clean, and pretty cheap place, but not close to the major attractions, but they reached quickly via train. Took a siesta and then went out to eat and have a few cervesaas. Pretty decent taste and price, but everyone smokes like crazy so there is a constant smell of stale cigarettes. Finally slept somewhat normally. Got up today and went to 'Las Ramblas' which is the main drag. Lots of tourists. Walked all the way down to the Columbus statue and port. There was a huge student rally, not sure exactly what they were upset about, but some were waving Soviet flags. Really, that is who they look up to? Soviet era Russia? May want to rethink that. Bunch of dreadlocked hippies.

Espana part Seis

Yesterday was boring. Went to a few sessions. Missed lunch because I took a nap, and it wasn't buffet style, so I didn't want to sit down 45 minutes into the meal. Afterwards, went to the gym, a little sauna time and back to the room. Woke up at 4 am and watched CNN for a while. There are 5 stations in the hotel that broadcast in Arabic. Two in English. I find that odd. Had a $25 tuna sandwich for dinner. Love the WiFi feature on my phone, I can get email and text while connecting to the Vignette wireless broadcast. Didn't think it would come in handy, but already used it quite a bit. Found a hostel to stay at too.

Espana Part Cinco

Arrived in Barcelona at 7ish in the morning on Monday. Airport security seemed lax, I don't think my passport was looked at for more than two seconds. Took a while, but I found an ATM with the loudest buttons ever to get some Euros. My meager $40 only got me 25 after exchanging. Cab ride to the hotel was about 15, better than I thought. I noticed very quickly that the cab and hotel had an ever present smell of stale smoke because every person in Europe smokes a pack a day. Got cleaned up, took a nap and went to the conference not noticing that the opening remarks were at 2 pm. I guess they are serious about the whole things happening late in Spain. Unfortunately, I was still pretty tired and after lunch and talking to a guy from Turkey and an Australian who works in Dubai, I went back to the hotel for another nap, and missed all the sessions. Oops. The Turkish guy works for Turcel(?) the largest cell carrier in Turkey. I think that might be his name as well. Has a hacked iPhone. Is only 25, probably the youngest person here. The woman works for some waterfront project in Dubai which is going to be the home to 2 million people by 2020. I heard they are spending a billion dollars a month. Obviously it was no surprise that head of products for the vendor ate dinner with her, she said money is no object, they can throw as many resources as required at the project. The gala dinner was pretty good, nice steak even though I asked for vegetarian. Strange entertainment. It was like the bucket boys from Chicago or New York, but they were English. Banging on crates and shopping carts. Ended around midnight and buses took us back. Sweet hotel by the way, equestrian field, bidet, the whole works.

Espana Part Cuatro

Made a really dumb mistake Sunday. I had received an email stating that my flight had been changed to a 2 pm departure instead of the original time - 5:55 pm. So I left from Angie's, went back to Linda's, got ready super fast and took a car service to JFK. When I got there there were no representatives from Iberia. Hmm. So i called the airline, it was the return flight that was moved. They flip the month/day so I saw 11 and thought it was the day of the changed flight instead of the 18, which I should have paid attention to since there is no 18th month. Anyway, had to stay at the airport for 4 extra hours and missed lots of football. Not good. One small upside was changing my flight to Delta for a direct flight to Barcelona. There were lots of empty seats and although not comfortable, I wasn't squeezed in either. Mr Bean's Holiday is not recommended rental material. My phone was able to play music the entire flight, so that was pretty cool. Spending over $12 for two slices of pizza and a Diet Coke was not cool.

Espana Part Tres

Saturday night. Linda was not feeling well, so I went out with Angie and two friends of her for Vietnamese food in China town. Food was really good, especially the appetizer. It was similar to very tender pot roast in gravy and they give French bread for dipping. Main dish was a typical noodle with beef dish (not eating meat is going poorly). Too much tripe for my liking. Then went to pick up Angie's dog, and the couple went home. We went to a bar near her house, where they let the dog in and for some reason, is full of British people. Maybe because NYC is cheap now? Or is it that it's really not too long of a haul. Anyway, they seem to like the fact that bars are open past 11 unlike London. Had quite a bit to drink, and ended up staying at Angie's instead of going back to Brooklyn.

Espana Part Dos

Saturday woke up several times, finally got up around noon. Could hear Linda talking, she had been up until 4 a.m. talking to boyfriend. Sounds like they talk every evening. After a quick shower we walked over to Peter Luger's for lunch. They were super crowded so we had to get take out burgers. They have been ranked best steakhouse in the country many times, so it figures that they would have good burgers as well. And they were.

Espana Part Uno

Left Chicago on Friday afternoon. Blue Line to O'hare after brunch at Corner Bakery. The potatoes were greasy. Ride was fine, the middle of the afternoon only has two types of riders, travelers or students, lots of bags, books, and some bookbags. Flight left a bit late, but still arrived roughly on time to Newark, and then took a train to Penn St. Cold and rainy in NYC, seemed to be worse weather than home. Met Linda at her work where she was having a beer with two co-workers. Gashed her hand open on a broken glass the prior night and had to go to the emergency room for stitches. Stayed nearby and had really good ramen (Mabo-men to be exact). Didn't go out, just went back to her place and talked for a while.

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Dating tip: Quality dates quality

Over the past month I’ve received several offers of dates and relationships from various men who read this blog. I’m not looking for a new boyfriend right now but it seems I should clarify what it is I look for in a man when I am, which will hopefully stem the flow of offers from guys who really don’t have it.

I am a very high-quality woman. I know that sounds arrogant, but let’s consider the facts:

• I’m slim (whereas 62% of American women age 20 to 74 are overweight). Although when I am pms'ing I tend to eat chocolate all day and feel gross. And bloated. And gassy.
  
• I’m attractive (my new picture has been rated more attractive than 86% of the women on Hot or Not -- and the women who upload their pictures are a self-selected sample that is probably already biased towards being more attractive than the general female population). In fact, most chicks want to get on me as well. I can pretty much go in either direction.
  
• I’m relatively young (whereas 82% of American adult women are over 30 years old). I am also younger than 100% of women over 32.
  
• I’m intelligent (IQ tested at 145 when I was a child, which is 3 standard deviations above the mean -- higher than 99.85% of the population. Even though I haven't seen the score, I'm sure my parents wouldn't have lied to me about that. So, I'm totally more smarter than pretty much everyone I meet. And I went to an Ivy League school, did I mention that?
  
• I’m educated (whereas 77% of American women do not have bachelor’s degrees) This does not include the surfing school I attended in Costa Rica, so that just adds to my genius.
  
• I have a strong libido and love having sex with men who are smart, athletic (not too big though, I prefer lean muscle), into the outdoors, yet live near Brooklyn, very romantic, but not girly, and only have shampoo and shaving cream in their bathrooms. Maybe deodorant.
  
• Most of my interests tend to be more popular with men than women: surfing, capoeira(formerly), cycling, crying at work, drinking scotch.
  

Given that self-improvement is an ongoing project of mine this list will continue to grow (I’m currently working on adding surfing neighbors Internet connection, somewhat physically fit, medium well-traveled, slightly higher income, and talking men into cooking for me to the list). So even when “relatively young” (an important criteria for most men) drops off that list, I should have added enough other things that my overall dating market value should remain the same or even improve.

The above list explains why I typically receive 50-100 (sometimes more) responses whenever I post personal ads. This is in addition to getting hit on almost every time I go out alone by Puerto Rican guys standing on the corner. (and all that those men know about me is that they like the way I look, they don’t even know about all the other qualities I have that make me more appealing than most other women).

So, I have a *lot* of choices of men who want to date me. Given that, of course I choose to date only the highest quality men -- men who are also lean and muscular, goofy-cute, sarcastic, finished high school, employed, etc. I’m attracted to men from any race and a wide age range (21 to 50 or so) so the pool of men who meet those requirements is quite large, which allows me to add all sorts of additional restrictions if I want.

I realize that some of you will find this post depressing because you’ll realize that you don’t qualify as a high quality man and thus won’t be able to get a high quality woman. You have a few options:

1. Lower your standards and stop pursuing women who are out of your league. There are lots of fat single mothers out there who can’t find dates either.
2. Look in the developing world. If you’re literate with a home computer and an internet connection you are very wealthy compared to the rest of the world. Citizenship or legal permanent residency in a rich country makes you more attractive to women in poorer countries. Your value on the dating market is thus much higher there.
3. Self-improvement! I used to be a fat unattractive college dropout who couldn’t get her life together. Now I’m thin, attractive, and successfully self-employed after graduating. You can make yourself over into a higher-quality man capable of winning a higher-quality woman too.